15 Čvn How Important is Your Dog to You?

Today’s topic is something very near and dear to my heart—something I try to live by as much as I can and something that I believe is frequently misunderstood.

You are totally, 100%, undeniably and wholly responsible for your dog. I hope for most of you that this is a no-brainer and you accept the responsibility for the living being you’ve joined your life with.

However, I often have debates with my clients and other handlers about several aspects of this where I believe many people misunderstand what this responsibility really means. You see, being responsible for your dog, his actions, his well-being—well, actually, his whole being—is a much more complicated matter than it might seem at first glance. 

Do you have a code of conduct regarding your dog?

The first thing I find people struggling with is setting up some sort of value system and placing their dog somewhere on it, together with other people, relatives, significant others, children, and other responsibilities. They ask questions like: “Should my dog be more important than my partner? What about my career?”

Those are valid questions, and I can understand why people struggle with them. I have been pondering this too, and I managed to develop an approach to this matter that makes sense to me.

If you have read some of my articles, you may have noticed I am a pretty organized person. I like to have a system present in almost everything I do. I have found that having a system, some rules you know you will never break, makes many things much easier.

However, problems arise if you don’t address this matter in time and preemptively create this code of conduct beforehand. Suddenly, you could be faced with a difficult, perhaps emotional, situation in which you won’t be able to make a rational decision. That means you might hurt your dog. You must have some rules set in stone before something like that happens. You have to think about it and develop some standards, preferably as soon as possible or even before you get your dog.

In my opinion, your dog should always be at the very top of your priorities. That might seem a little extreme to some of you, I understand that, but bear with me and let me explain what I mean.

Your dog can’t not be your highest priority

I always think of my dogs first, and I have a very simple reason why I do that. I would be unable to explain to them in a way they would understand why they are not my priority.

You see, you can easily say to your significant other, friend, boss, or neighbor: “Sorry, I am busy right now, I will get back to you in an hour.”

They are people; they understand what you are saying. They might get upset a bit, but they understand and you can then explain your reasoning to them. “My dog wasn’t feeling well, and I had to drive him to the vet,” for example.

You can even easily make it up to them: “I am sorry I had to cancel our thing because of my dog. Let me make it up to you tomorrow.” They will understand and appreciate the apology as well as the effort to make things right.

Now, imagine the situation in reverse. Imagine Archer, my crazy high-drive lunatic of a malinois. He is used to being worked every day, having my attention, and us generally enjoying our life together.

Imagine me saying to him: “Buddy, I’m sorry, I know it’s morning and you need to go outside to do your business, bark at some cats, bristle the fur on your whole back, ears to tail, at some other dogs and generally show everyone you are the most badass lovable dog in the neighborhood. But, you know, I am kind of busy right now, so please wait for an hour.”

Want to guess what Archer’s reaction to that would be? You don’t want to know, trust me.

On a more serious note, do you see the difference? The dog does not understand. You can’t explain it to him in a way he would understand. He doesn’t understand an apology and you can’t make it up to him. That’s why he has to come first.

Priority does not mean sacrificing everything

Now, before you condemn me as a sociopathic extremist, give me a chance to soften the blow a bit. There is a big difference between explaining something to a dog he could not possibly understand and training or getting him accustomed to a situation or routine.

To use the aforementioned example, I could not explain to Archer that he has to wait another hour for his usual morning walk. Not in that one particular moment. However, I could very well train him and get him used to me not walking him first thing in the morning.

Which he actually is used to. I usually walk my dogs last thing at night, right before I go to bed; and in the morning, I take about an hour to meditate, exercise, and get ready before we go tackle the day with all three of us together.

I also know that once I have worked my dogs sufficiently and given them enough attention, cuddles, and food, I can go see a movie, go on a date, and just have a life without feeling any remorse about leaving them at home. I know they are used to it and that they will sleep 99% of the time that I am not at home. My dogs always come first, but I have made sure that they make my life great, not miserable.

So, this is my system. My dogs always come first, but I am willing and able to adapt our lifestyle to accommodate some changes. So, for example, if my significant other came and said, “It’s either me or the dogs,” I don’t really have to think about that decision because I already made it long ago. It’s my dogs, sweetheart, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

However, if she had another, more reasonable request—like me setting aside one day of the week to spend a bit less time with the dogs or maybe shift my training schedule around—that is something I can get my dogs used to in some time, and that is no problem.

So, what I mean is that you need to take some time and really think about how you want to approach this issue. Make some rules. Take a chisel, and set those rules into stone once you decide. Swear to your dog that you will always go by those rules.

And please, make sure your dog is high up in your priorities. Just be mindful, and you will figure it out.