30 Bře The Potentially Crushing Responsibility of Having a Really Good Dog

The title of this article might seem a little weird—why should owning a good dog be anything other than completely delightful? The unfortunate reality is that it can very easily become a soul-crushing experience if you are not careful. 

The inspiration for this article was a new client who came to one of my training sessions recently. They have a good dog. A really good dog. Like a really really good dog—a dog who could probably easily compete at the world championship level. And that’s great, isn’t it? Well, yes and no. 

Huge Potential, Little Skill

You see, the problem is that the handler does not have enough experience and skill yet to utilize the dog’s potential. Try to think of yourself in their position, and you will see why this is potentially a problem.

The handler is pretty new to the sport, very enthusiastic, they love their dog, and they have all the ingredients for success. The problem is that what they hear from everyone around them is basically: “Your dog is absolutely great, but you are not good enough. With someone else, he could already be competing at the top level. How about you sell me that dog? It’s a pity that dog doesn’t have a different handler.”

Now, these statements are sometimes said in good fun, but other times they’re stated very seriously. Imagine the pressure such a handler must be feeling on a day-to-day basis. The feeling of inadequacy, the fear of messing up, the anxiety of being mocked by other handlers for not living up to their dog’s potential. Every training session is a source of stress for them. Every encounter with a fellow dog handler has the potential for them to be practically bullied. 

Are you starting to see why this can be so crushing? Especially compared to a beginner dog handler with an average dog who never has to hear any statements like that. Everyone expects a handler in the latter situation to simply go at their own pace and just see how far the journey brings them—.aybe to just one or two trials, maybe to a competition, who knows?

However, the handler with the extremely good dog is considered a failure if they don’t make it to the world championship. See how unfair that can be? Can you imagine the pressure that such a handler is under?

Transferring Human Problems Onto Dogs

The biggest issue is that the problem does not stop with the handler, of course. Good dogs are often those who are very attuned to their handler. These are the dogs who know us in and out and can react to the slightest body movements and accurately judge many different situations in which they may find themselves. 

Imagine such a dog entering the training field with his handler who is thinking: “Oh my god. Oh my god, another training session. I have to do well. I can’t spoil it for my dog. We have to reach for the stars. We have to compete. Oh god, what if I mess up?” 

They might have a cheerful attitude, voice, and expression on the outside; but inside, the pressure is mounting. And the dog knows. They always know. They can smell our moods from a mile away, as every dog owner can attest to. 

Such complex emotions of feeling inadequate, feeling not good enough, and really wanting to do well are very alien concepts to our dogs. They don’t understand that you want to compete. They don’t understand why any of this is so important to you. They want to come to the field and have a great time with their best buddy, their handler. 

The problem is that something is off. Something is not right. There is an invisible barrier between the dog and his handler. A suffocating pressure is coming from the handler, and the dog does not understand it, and he doesn’t like it. His best bud seems to be in distress—maybe some kind of danger? What’s wrong? Maybe it’s not playtime right now. Maybe we should be wary of some kind of threat! 

See how unfair this is towards the dog? He has no chance of understanding our complex emotions. He wants joy and fun and playtime on the field, happy heeling sessions, and cheerful fetching. He doesn’t care about our ambitions.

So, the pressure that is put upon the poor dog handler with their exceptional dog is transferred onto said exceptional dog who has no clue what to do with it, but he knows he doesn’t like it one bit. And so, the two of them don’t come to the training field for joyful times, but they approach their training sessions like a warzone. The dog is trying to battle against an unseen enemy—the pressure coming from—his handler and the handler is trying to wage war against their own ambitions placed there by others or by themselves.

This problem, of course, isn’t confined only to those with exceptional dogs, though. I have seen many overambitious dog handlers pushing their dogs to the brink of breaking just by transferring their ambitions onto them. However, in those cases, it can be argued that the overambition is a personality trait of the handler, so in some sense, the level of distress is their own fault. 

Beginner or intermediate handlers with exceptional dogs can be very unambitious and simply content with working their dogs at their own pace. Unfortunately, they often get pushed by others around them, fellow handlers and even trainers, finally spoiling their fun times with their beloved dog.

Let Go of Your Ambitions; Just Have Fun!

The big question in all of this is what is the solution? What can you do if you find yourself in a similar situation, whether it be of your own doing due to your personality or because you find yourself with an exceptional dog?

First of all, congratulations on your dog and your determination to fix this problem! Many handlers never bother with resolving the issue they just kind of fight a pointless battle, never really getting anywhere. 

The first thing you must accept is that there isn’t really any new training method nor any new technique you could learn to fix this problem. The solution is not about teaching your dog how to work properly. It is first and foremost about getting your mindset straight. 

These are mindful dog sports, and I always emphasize how important it is to be mindful and aware of what you are doing and what you are thinking. You have to get rid of those ambitions, that crushing pressure. But not completely, of course. Your ambitions are important and drive you on the way to your trials and competitions. However, that particular driving force is only for you, not for your dog—he doesn’t care about that. 

I always imagine when I go to my car to get Archer to go train that I take off my ambitions like a coat. I fold it neatly, put it in the trunk of my car, release Archer, and go have a great time with him in the field. Then, when we are all done, we cuddle a bit. He loves to have his back scratched while propped up with his front paws on the back of my car – as you can see in the photo of this post. I put him back in his kennel and put on the coat of my ambitions again to be able to critically think about the training and work out what went wrong and what went well. 

Now, this isn’t easy; and of course, I don’t always succeed, and I sometimes let my ambitions still get in the way. As a matter of fact, this might be one of my biggest struggles. Add to that the pressure of knowing that I am teaching others as well, so my obedience should be perfect, shouldn’t it? I can tell you: it’s not. No one is perfect. So I just try hard to not let these thoughts influence me and potentially disturb Archer, who just wants to have fun.

You have to try. You owe it to your dog. I would even recommend if you struggle with this problem a lot, go see a therapist. There is no shame in that (and no one has to know), and a good therapist can help you work through this problem and find solutions that both help you and ultimately help your dog. 

Why do you think top athletes have coaches, therapists, and psychologists? Can you imagine the pressure of being an Olympic athlete? Want to tell me your dog is not a top-notch athlete who deserves the best care? Didn’t think so.

Thank you for being mindful and admitting this problem to yourself. This won’t be an easy journey, but you can do it, and your dog will be so grateful! If you need help, you can look into using any of my coaching options, and I will do my best to help you. 

And if it’s not yourself who is struggling with this but perhaps one of your friends, show them this article. You might be able to start them off on a journey towards straightening out the relationship with their dog and perhaps even with themselves.